Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Tips for Adoption

Getting pregnant when you want to can be one of the most frustrating, expensive events in life.  I remember not so fondly going through so many medical procedures and spending years in total frustration and despair. It seemed that whatever we tried just didn't work.
We discussed adoption and could have saved a lot of heartache and money by adopting. Don't get me wrong - I wouldn't trade my family for the world, but I do want to point out that adopting children is a viable resource that often gets overlooked. With couples getting married later in life and women not wanting to interrupt their careers to have a baby, infertility is widespread today.
The top reasons for choosing adoption in America are:
  1. To provide a permanent home for a child.
  2. To expand your family.
  3. Infertility.
  4. Wanted sibling for a child.
  5. Had adopted child's siblings.
Eighty-seven percent of parents who have adopted say that they would "definitely" make the same decision to adopt knowing what they know now.  That is an amazing statistic and really speaks to the success of adoption.

When I was a growing up, the adoptions I was aware of were closed, meaning that there was no contact between the birth family and the adoptive families.  No identifying information was provided and only non-identifying information (height, hair color, medical history) was provided through a third party agency or attorney.  Closed adoptions provides privacy to the birth parents and gives them a sense of closure and ability to move on with life.  Adoptive parents are not required to physically share the child with the birth parents and there is no risk of the birth parents interfering with raising the child. Of course the child can't find out about their birth parents and that means a lot of questions:  why did they give me up?  Who do I look like?  Often times children feel a sense of abandonment.

Some feel that the clean break that a closed adoption provides is best. Others believe that an open adoption where identities are known is best. Open adoptions allow for direct interaction between birth and adoptive families.  This leaves no questions remaining for the child as to why and who. It also provides the potential for birth parents to develop a healthy relationship with the child with less guilt and pain about the adoption decision.  Genetic and birth histories are known and birth parents don't exist as just a "fantasy" in the mind of the child.  Open adoptions eliminates the need of the child to search for birth parents and fosters connections with siblings or relatives of birth parents.

It is important for adoptive families to understand that adoption is not a solution to infertility - it is a solution to becoming parents - the same as having a child biologically is.  Adoption is not settling because once you hold your child for the first time you will know how amazing being a parent is!

If you're considering giving a child up for adoption be sure to weigh the pros and cons of both open and closed adoption for you and your baby. It's a difficult decision and you should take all the time you need to make it.

Disclosure:  This is a sponsored post, however my opinion remains my own and yours may differ.

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1 comment:

  1. I'm 99% sure my birth certificate was altered. I was supposedly born Dec.5,1961, yet the certificate wasn't registered until Sept.30, 1962. I have never got straight answers from either of my parents about my time of birth, I was born at 3 am, 4pm or sometime after 11pm. Is it a coincidence I don't resemble anyone in my family? I suppose it doesn't matter, but I'd like to find out how old I am.


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